Sunday, June 20, 2010

Ever last friendship and meal quantity :D

Ever last friendship, it pictures how honest and true friendship between LLuBeRS. We met since hi-school and still be friends until now.

Especially, we have the same eating habit. We never ever pretend our eating desire. The last meeting we had prove that statement.

At Ani and Ayu birthday party, we promised to be treated in obonk steak. The reason why chose obonk was we had never been there since our hi-school graduation. When we were on grey uniform, we often talk and had great time together there. So, obonk is the place where we miss to eat in.

Having dinner together is always an awesome memory!

Our dinner finished, then we had relax talking for a while. Actually, the size of steak was not really small but all of us didn't feel full. One of us said, we're click on dcost huge portion, here was just a snack to be eaten!!

Hahahaha.. Damnly right!

We chose the wrong place, no satissfied for us, in their portion of course! :D

Here, some evidences from LLuBeRS huge eating desire. It was taken on Anna and Lathifah's birthday treat at D'Cost seafood resto...

See, that's REAL PICTURE of us. We had it to the null. That fish, crab, shrimps, clams, rice, beverages, water spinach were totally saved in our stomach, really wide stomach, for sure.

Next treat, I'll be the girl who pay our huge eating desire. I wanna try seafood resto in Agus Salim!!

Love all my bestfriends ever. No one can be like us. We're blessed to be sisters!

*Photo's memorial: that was taken in Sukabumi, before graduated from senior hi-school.

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

leaving you is A MUST!!!!

I'm at a certainly huge dillema.

i'm falling in love, but at wrong man. i met him on a stupidity, we started talking from chatting. we took a promise to meet, and then, taraaaaa, we still meet until now!!!
yea, at the first, i thought careless to him, we just had fun. he said, usually, he keeps on one girl, no desire to make it change the girls many times. i stand for that statement.

at once and second, i couldn't talk much, i was in desperate feeling of a broken heart. we texted a lot, i wrote him that i couldn't be a nice-smile girl until i feel comfort in you, he understood. at the last, he makes me absolutely be spoiled!

i ensured that him is a single man since very first our meeting, and it was proven. no problems to be taken to still have a date with him :)

time runs months by months, our relationship went into closer. i told him many story, so did he. we talked about family, we have same amount of sister and brother. the youngest is sister, and brother is younger. we have different characteristics. he's a man with maturity in every words, act and cares. i'm definitely glad with it, i'm a spoil girl, not yet mature and have bigger ego. he said that statement, and i just put my head on his shoulder, what an amazing to know this man!

lots of places we touched to, lots of fun we had and as a normal girl, he makes a rainbow every time we were together. no sadness, heavy pain even tears, the world smiles me and hold my soul to be close to him. how an outstanding situation that was! :D

after new year's eve, he sent me a greeting text. he promised me to have time together again. i never can reject it. but, the odds happened, he disappeared and didn't give his situation. and i had feeling that our relationship must be ended if he's married.

the relationship was getting worse, over and over he canceled our date. i was getting mad of it. i was no contact him for months. until one day, i took a brave action to text him.

i asked all his condition, he said that he's shocked to know i still remember him. bad signs. i continued texting, and finally, the storm was coming. i fell, again, into the darkness. i was erasing his number and promising myself not to contact him anymore.

months go months. i can't stand for my feeling, but i must leave him.

one day, i saw a man that seems like him a lot, that man brought a woman. i was shocked and i thought that must be his wife. i'm giving up. but, on my way to watch Prince of Persia, i texted him, i can't forget his number, asked him whether the man is he or not. he said not. surprisingly, he asked me a lot about my condition, he knew that i was getting sick for some times. knowing i'm healthy, he asked to have a date, again! i said yes, in my deepest heart, i know that maybe he'll cancel it again. but not for his promising now.

we meet, after 4 or more months not to see.

like an ice, we were cold and couldn't say any words. he just asked my lungs and healthy. i told him that i'm good at all after recovering illness. we were a lot in silence, seemed like a big wall among us. until he said a strange word, and we realized that we were in wrong toll to get into our destination. since that, the conversation came into well. we laughed, talked much. he still spoiled me, touching my hair as like i'm his little sister. we did the same activity like the past. it was really far different. he seemed in a deep feeling to keep me. he spoiled a lot, didn't give me an inch further to him. we were not separated.

after that date, of course, i'm glad. also, the guilty feelings walk beside me. we're in different status, he's two now.

I REALLY WANNA GET OUT FROM HIS LIFE, but, my feeling talks in the cross side. he's like my own elder brother. i can't let my self to be in guilty feeling. this what i take for....


coz I love him, I don't want him to be unhappy. pray me for the strength :)
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Monday, June 14, 2010

on high tempered


3hal yang saling terkait. tidak ada manusia yang tak punya emosi dan cinta.
kadang, cinta berawal dari emosi, emosi juga terarah pada cinta....

gw selalu panas, gregetan dan weird saat inget kejadian itu.
gw mau kebahagiaan buat mereka! karena emosi buat gw sadar kalo gw punya sayang!!

dia aneh, cerita semua hidupnya ke gw....
dan gw...
selalu arahin pandangan ke dia!!!

4bulan atau mungkin lebih lama lagi....
tanpa dia, dan semua yang bisa manjain!!!

semua menyala kemarin...




entah emosi dan hati menyatu dalam jalan rahasia, melebur mengalahkan terik surya di luar.

senja pun berlari cepat, seolah tak ingin kalah...
tak ingin rasanya melihatnya membuka mata....
tanda berakhirnya waktu,

sedih, senang, salah.......

menjadi hantu yang mengejar tiap kata hati..........
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Saturday, June 5, 2010

Doa sebelum tidur

Ya Rabb..
Aku tau semua ini berawal dari kebodohan..
Aku mengenalkan diriku dalam posisi buruk yang teramat sangat..
Aku hina dan terinjak, ku mudahkan segala untuknya..
Hingga waktu yang lama..

Ya Rabb
Kini aku telah jatuh kembali, dan aku sangat terpuruk fisik dan emosi..
Kuingin terus merasakan hangat peluk dan sifatnya, meski ku sadar sampah lah yang dia pikirkan..

Ya Rabb
Kenapa aku terjebak dalam kebodohan sendiri?
Kini dia telah pergi, dan tak mungkin ada celah lagi..
Tinggalah sesalku mewarnai hari..

Ya Rabb
Aku mau dia bahagia, bahagianya adalah untuk ku juga..
Tapi aku tak bohong, aku ingin dapat lagi seperti dulu yang sering dilakukan..
Aku mau mengenalnya dalam keadaan bersih dan cantik..

Rabb ku..
Ampuni aku, kebodohan ku dan segala buruk..
Aku merasa gila saat ini..
Semua karna aku sayang, jauh dari yang ia kira..

:'( Read More..

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

inspiring words

tonight, i was sent a really beautiful short message from a best friend of mine, and that short message amazes and inspires me :
aku minta pada Allah setangkai bunga segar,
Allah beri aku kaktus berduri.
aku minta pada Allah binatang mungil yang cantik,
Allah beri aku ulat berbulu.
aku kecewa betapa Allah tidak adil.
tapi kemudian,
kaktus itu berbunga indah bahkan sangat indah
dan ulat itu tumbuh dan berkembang menjadi kupu-kupu yang sangat cantik.
itulah jalan Allah, indah pada waktunya.
Allah tidak memberi apa yang kita harapkan,
tapi memberi apa yang kita perlukan.
kadang kita sedih dan kecewa,
tapi jauh diatas segalanya,
Allah sedang merajut yang terbaik untuk kita.
semoga kita termasuk orang-orang yang pandai bersyukur.

then, i really thank Allah. although i felt many times in broken heart, i know exactly there will be something fascinating, amazing even spectacular. i really don't wanna be person who feel empty, lost the guides from the Almighty, Allah SWT. 

for the last many times, i forgot Him and i lost. i felt empty, always thought that there's no place to stand in and to lie my back at. but, i came back to Him, which never bored to hear and accept our prays, every single times. thank Allah for many uncounted times.

also, i felt desperate when the 'suck' ex left me by many fucking reasons. my world seemed really dark and empty, i fell into another guy and that made me feel so wrong until today. but in the another sides i realize, i have my parents, brother, sister and kinda huge number of friends. they're always on my side but my eyes were too blind to see them. 

now i feel really grateful of every detail happiness in mine. family and friends are the best place for me to keep everything, i don't think too much about guy and love relationship. i believe, many wonderful moments will come in the right time and place.

Allah never sleeps, He watches, listens and knows everything.

Rabb, shows me Your beautiful way, i don't wanna be the one who leaves you.

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